Someone asked me last week why I blog. I have been pondering the answer to that question for days.
The conclusion I have come to leaves me unsettled. I think I blog because....... I desperately need connection with others, and am lacking meaningful community in my real world.
My husband pointed out today that this is a pretty unrealistic world. For example, the people who know me online really only see one dimension of who I am. It tends to be my zealous, serious, slightly insane side. And since tone and body language can not be read through text, there is a danger that what I am saying will be perceived incorrectly.
However, that doesn't stop me from blogging. Because my need to interact with others is greater than my fear of being misunderstood. I do get my feelings hurt, though, and sometimes feel alienated or blown off by other bloggers. I think we all tend to say things a little more harshly and come across a little more arrogantly in our posts than we would face-to-face.
It certainly doesn't take the place of having those safe, warm, "live and in color" friends who can give you a hug on a really tough day, or pick up on your facial expression when life is about to overwhelm you.
Have you ever thought about how strange it is that we share our deep thoughts and feelings with total strangers through cyberspace? Why have we lost the connection and community that used to exist in our society? Why are we so lonely and isolated in cities bursting with people?
Technology has definitely changed our world. What are your thoughts? Why do you blog?
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8 comments:
We all need that sense of community. Nothing bad about it. And in a sense, the blogging community is kind of a self-selecting community: you automatically have at least one thing in common with other bloggers. I have "met" several other people via the blogosphere that I rather like. Oddly, some of them are actually local, and I still haven't met them in person yet!
"Typing tone" has gotten me in too many arguments. I try really, really hard to avoid problems, but they still happen.
Why do I blog? I started almost accidentally; I wanted to leave a comment on someone's blog, and I mistakenly thought the registration process on Blogger required that I start a blog of my own. I floundered a bit for a week or two until I realized that I could post my Sunday School notes and that that might be convenient for the handful of people interested.
Then a handful of other people showed some interest in what I had to say--only God knows why, I am a complete nobody--and I found that in explaining one opinion, you get started on another, and then another, ad infinitum.
It's nice that people read my material, but I'd write it whether they read it or not. To this minute, I am completely flummoxed as to why anyone reads anything I write.
Kiki,
I know I am much stronger and forceful on "paper" than in person. I identify with Paul in
2 Corinthians 2:9-10-- I do not want to seem to be trying to frighten you with my letters. 10 For some say, "His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing." 11 Such people should realize that what we are in our letters when we are absent, we will be in our actions when we are present.
You actually introduced me to the blogging world (don't expect the world to send any thank you letters unless they end with the words, "What were you thinking???") and I've commented here and there. Only last week did I start my own: shameless plug on--pursuing-faith.blogspot.com--sp off. I'm planning on posting sermons from Sunday and people have already told me they like the idea b/c it will allow them to know what the congregation is hearing even if they are absent. So in a sense, it will hopefully maintain greater community in our church.
Whether anyone else reads it or participates in it remains to be seen. I just know it's an outlet to get thoughts out that I might not otherwise be able to. I enjoy the feedback potential and the exchange of ideas.
Pursuing Answers to Questions of Faith & Life,
For my I consider "blogging" and "journaling" online to be different things. You have a blog because you comment on social issues and things that are important.
I keep an online journal because I can type faster than I write (and making posts from my phone is awesome). I update about how I ate a really yummy apple, or how my day went, or something I thought of three weeks ago and forgot to write down.
I keep a journal because I can't always keep everything in my head. Sometimes when something happens, I need to be able to distance myself from it a bit, but it's also important to me to be able to remember everything. If I write it down, I don't have to keep it in my head, and I can deal with it when I am able.
The things I post online publically (I don't know, doesn't Blogger let you do private posts? I use www.livejournal.com primarily) I post because I don't always get to see my friends. It keeps them up to date on what I'm doing and so forth. And because they really really care about what I had for dinner.
I was once at a Bible Study and one of the people asked "Has anyone heard from Alex yet?" (Alex had *just* returned from a missions trip to Costa Rica. Myself and a very good friend of mine said, at the SAME INSTANT "No, because she hasn't updated her livejournal yet."
I don't know. Blogging isn't a real relationship, but it serves a purpose in my life.
I'm not convinced that the blogging world is any less realistic than the "real" world. How often do we put on our "public face" before we go out around others? I know of very few people who are really open and transparent around others. I suppose the one way that the blogging world could lend itself to being less realistic is that it allows for complete anonymity, so I could pass myself off as a suave, debonair, charismatic, good-looking fellow and no one would know otherwise. (Obviously I haven't done this, or else I would have put a different picture on my blog!)
Why do I blog? I suppose there are several reasons. Honesty requires me to admit that part of it is pride. To have other people, who are more "successful" than I am, affirm things I have written makes me feel good. I'm one of those weird folks who really isn't all caught up in whether or not people like me, but I have a strong need to be respected. The response I receive in the blogosphere feeds that need. Before anyone gets the idea that I'm an egomaniac, this is only a part of why I blog. Indeed, I was active in the blogosphere well before anyone began to affirm or even respond to anything I wrote.
Another reason I blog is that it challenges me to think. Through various discussions on blogs, I have encountered a number of viewpoints that I had never considered before. And on a number of issues I have changed my own views. I have also learned about a number of ideas and happenings that I had been completely unaware of. So I find blogging to be intellectually stimulating.
Strangely, in some ways the relationships I have built with some of my fellow bloggers are more real and substantial than most of my relationships in the "real" world. For starters, I make a much stronger impression, especially a first impression, on the blogs than I do in person. In person I am VERY shy and reserved around strangers(which for some reason tends to come across as arrogance), and I tend to be quiet even among people I know. I am also a poor conversationalist (but a good listener). But on the blogs I can express myself through writing, which is one of my strong points; I can edit and re-edit what I say before I actually say it. I also am more comfortable communicating when there is a topic as opposed to making small talk. And to be honest, I have more in common with several bloggers than I do with most people I know in the "real" world.
Kiki, you may regret asking this question. I think my comment is longer than your post! Sorry.
Dan--
I like reading your thoughts. You are the reason I finally understand what "reformed" means....sort of. : ) You have been amazingly graceful and patient, and allowed me to ask questions. Thank you for that.
Kelly--
I'd rather be with the Reed family in person. Better yet, I would love to serve alongside you guys in ministry again someday. I really miss the friendship, community and team that we had. It was really special.
But if I can't be with you in person, I want to at least read your thoughts and keep up with your family!
Lit Major--
Good points. I think those are valid reasons to blog. And you're right--it's a great way to stay in touch, especially since I'm terrible at writing letters and using the phone!!!
Tim--
How do you manage to get inside my head like that? ; ) I both enjoy, but am scared to read what you write, because you are always so dead on. I could "AMEN" every one of your points.
And I have to agree with you that there are some people I have more in common with in the blogging world than in real life.
However, I am looking forward to meeting some of those people (like you!) in person as well. I think you and Doug will really hit it off--he is also an introvert in public, but has a lot of depth, too.
I sometimes think it is ironic that a huge part of what we do in our ministry is create environments where students can find meaningful Christian community.
Our job is to help others connect, while we struggle to find it ourselves. But we can't really have that kind of relationship with our students, and the world of 37-year old parents is vastly different from that of 20-year old students.
I'm sure as a pastor you can relate. It's difficult to have people you can be truly transparent with in a church, when you are also supposed to be leading them.
I will be praying for your family, and ours as well, that God will send us some friends where we are. But I am also truly thankful for the friendships that we have been able to build online. I appreciate your prayers, emails and encouragment. And the words of wisdom on your blog. : )
Kiki,
You know the main reason I blog is the truly the community. There are a whole set of issues that I need to talk about and communicate with others about, and yet the people in God's church here in Delaware don't have a clue, don't want a clue; they just don't care. I need the intellectual stimulation, the thinking, the relationships.
It is also a way to share about me, my hurts habits and hangups in a safe environment. I probably don't do enough of that, but it's a safe door.
The interesting thing is that many of the people I have "met" online, I've been able to meet in person, or I plan to meet them in person, ie Greenboro. Who you are on your blog will come out in the face to face. For instance, I've met Marty D once, talked to him on the phone a couple of times, and there are moments, rare though they are, when I can "hear" him in his posts.
With my blog and my comments, you get to see the real me. Sometimes I'm quiet and introspective. Other's I'm a hot head. Some days I don't think before I act and much of what I say is just wierd. Some days I'm caring and compassionate and sensitive; others it's like I'm blowing up buildings. And then there are those few days when I'm coherant, clear, interesting, and right on target. Those are the best.
It is part of my social fabric and every day, several times a day, I look to see if my "friends" have anything to say. I look forward to it; I even long for it.
Blessings Kiki, and to others...
David
David,
I was just writing an email about you!!!! I think that those of us in close proximity--you, us, the Raineys, Won Kwok in Philly--need to have a MD/DE/PA/SJ get-together. We need the encouragement, would love the fellowship, and we all still really need to taste those ribs of yours.
My vote would be someplace outdoors. We have all these gorgeous state parks around here. It would be fun to get all of us together.
I know exactly where you are coming from in what you said. I find myself doing the same thing--checking periodically to see what my friends online are doing. I think I would have been lost these last few months without you guys.
I definitely want us to connect at Greensboro. And Doug likes blowing up things, too. So I think you guys will get along marvelously.
Today he and Anna are out playing paintball with the students. At Easter they even considered having an "Extreme Easter Egg Hunt".
I'm heading out there in a minute, to get started with dinner and the campfire. Wish you guys could be here to hang out with us.
Kiki,
I keep trying to tell you that we're searching for a campus/student
minister. ;-)
In fact, I just had a 4 hour meeting with a couple of students yesterday
that are planning on starting a Fusion cell in the dorms. They were pretty
leary of "Baptists", particularly "Southern" Baptists (oooh) but came away
realizing that we're not all that the Press reports claim us to be. We'll
probalby be partnering with them. They want and need the oversight. You
really should come and visit sometime. Speaking for Vicky, we really miss
you and your family. You tried to get us to Pitt., I'm only returning the
favor. How is that church doing anyway?
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