Anna started Middle School yesterday. And apparently the world also came to an end.I put a very tearful kid to bed last night. It was hard to see her like that.
Anna is such an incredible daughter. She is sweet, charming, loving, and fun. She is very self-sufficient, with a creative flair (she made the cake in this picture all by herself) and has her Daddy's ability to stretch a dollar insanely far.
But two things she is not: a morning person, or a big fan of change. So a 6:30 bus, and 12 periods of classes have literally rocked her world.
I tried to encourage her by telling her my Middle School horror stories. After all....I survived it and am proof that there is life beyond 6th grade.
I remember my first day at McArthur Middle School in Jonesboro, AR. It was 7th grade, and we'd just come back to the States on furlough.
I realized immediately it was going to be a challenge. There should be boot camp for things like combination locks, opening milk cartons, and dealing with 8th grade boys who burp and throw spit balls.
But the most horrific moment came when I walked into English. From the back of the room Jim, EVIL Jim, stated, "aren't you that kid who wet her pants back in 3rd grade?"
YES, I wet my pants in 3rd grade. It was our last furlough, and my first day EVER in public school. The math teacher was a total meanie who warned us that we had better not interrupt her teaching with any trivia. When I realized I needed to go to the restroom, I was too afraid to raise my hand. I just sat there, frozen, as the yellow puddle under my chair grew bigger and bigger.
So that lovely announcement from Jim kicked off my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad first day in Middle School. And I came out of it still breathing, and even managed to make some friends in the process.
Do any of you have some words of wisdom or stories that you could share with Anna of how you survived the "tween" years?
14 comments:
Hi Kiki:
I was a fat kid. Last one picked for anything that required physical activities (which left only spelling bees, which I excelled at). Always felt on the outside looking in. Nobody likes me. All that.
Those things caused me to develop into what I am today. Whatever that may be, I wouldn't change a thing about it. I still carry the effects of the "Fat Boy Complex" .. yes there is such a thing .. but every effect has become a big advantage in my life now.
Tell Anna two things:
1) People who recognize quality in others, think highly of you. You're a terrific person.
2) All the experiences in your youth, helped make you what you are. Even the ones you didn't like, at the time.
I always say if you like the cake, don't argue about the recipe. You turned out wonderful, so it's obvious that the Master Chef knew what He was doing.
Just like with Anna.
ps: My wife's childhood was much like mine. We've been married 47 years now and are happier than ever. Wouldn't change any of her childhood, either.
Kiki:
When I referred to "you" in 1) and 2) previously, I was talking about you .. Kiki. I have a hunch Anna thinks you turned out well, too.
One of the wonderful things about God, IMO, is that He causes us to turn out well because of our experiences, not in spite of them.
Kiki,
More comradrie than advice, our daughter Scooter started sixth grade this week and has had a tough time for just the reasons you mention: lack of sleep and change.
We've been working hard to get her to bed earlier and to spend more time than ever before helping her to process her day. It's nice to know that we're not the only ones wrestling this...
I put a very tearful kid to bed last night. It was hard to see her like that.
It doesn't get any easier. My oldest graduated from college last December. She wasn't too upset about not finding a teaching job in the middle of the school year. But now it's the next school year and still no job. There have been tears, frustration, and "I'm a loser" talk.
She doesn't like being a boomerang kid and I don't like feeling helpless.
Kiki:
How'd she do today?
Anna,
I for one believe and expect great things of you. And what God can do through you. You are already more than a conqueror for anything this life can throw at you because of the power of Christ in you. I pray God will continue to give you strength, endurance and courage to overcome the hurdle that is Middle School. Your race is far from over, there will be more hurdles, but the prize that awaits you for finishing your race is glorious. Be Strong & Courageous for the Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go.
Pursuing Answers to Questions of Faith & Life,
Kelly Reed
Dear Kiki,
I feel for Anna and for you, but despite your invitation to give advice, I'll just bite my tongue on this one.
Love in Christ,
Jeff
Kiki,
I'm certain that you guys already do this routinely, but with our 7th grader last year (Jonathan, our youngest of 4), trying to ensure getting to bed at a decent hour and praying with him before going to bed was a big help. I also normally take him to school in the mornings so we have prayer time on the way in the car too. I really do believe that prayer makes a major difference in how middle schoolers get through their days.
This is Vicky Reed.
Anna, you are a dear sweet girl and I am so glad and thankful that you have the relationship with your mom & dad that you do. Just remember, no matter what happens, no matter who says or does what, always, always, be honest with your parents and it will carry you through many things. You are not alone, and I know you know that. But when it feels like it, tell your mom exactly how you feel, she will always be there for you. My prayers are with you, Anna.
Vicky
Kiki,
You guys have been prayed for this past week.
Tell Anna that I said it's always hard to do new things and scary too, but as I look back now I actually see that every year was better than the last, though it seemed impossible at the time, and, these days are the best yet. On second thought, maybe that kind of stuff is for the parents of Anna. :)
Paul
Hey Kiki,
As a former short, introverted, skinny kid with glasses, assure Anna that she is not alone. Knowing that will serve as little comfort we found that our daughter Katie and my wife Patti spent some time every evening talking about the events of the day. To this day, Katie remembers those times as what got her through this same age.
I guess this is why they call them "growing pains"!
Thanks, guys, for all the advice!!!
She survived the first three days. That's a start.
One other request. We'd really like to see her get plugged into a youth group, and find some Christian peers. But we are at a loss as to how to do that. So you can pray for that, too.
I went through my younger years being incredibly mean and nasty. Probably the sort of person who would have given your daughter a hard time about something. So, if I have any advice, it would be to dwell on the fact that she won't have to regret her behavior later, like some people I know...
Anna-
I haven't seen you in a few years, but I know how sweet of a girl you are. I know that the light of Christ within you will draw others to you, that you will have new friends and you will be a positive influence on those around you. I know that your parents will love you through this, because the love you and they love Christ.
If it's any consolation, I still feel like I'm trying to meander my way through the "tween years". I think my whole life has been "tween" something or another. This will just help you be ready for the next change, the next challenge. And I'm here cheering for you, as are many others who love and care for you.
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