James 4:7a "Submit therefore to God..."But God has been doing cool stuff in my heart just in the past two years in regard to that. If you go back and read some of my comments on the original Lifeway Younger Leaders board (but please don't!) then you will see how far I've come. God has been doing some major renovation.
There was a point where I had concluded that most Christian men, especially those in ministry positions, were misogynists. I have seen and experienced harsh, arrogant, and disrespectful treatment toward women that is not honoring to God.
It used to upset me when this topic was brought up at all--not because I believe women should be ordained (I don't) but because I felt it has been used to prohibit women from participating in legitimate ministries to which God has called them. I have also seen it abused by self-centered, proud individuals who are seeking to puff up their own self esteem.
For example, I had a friend in college who was an incredible preacher, and who I really respected as a minister. But one day I saw him with his wife, and to be honest, he was a complete jerk to her. It totally floored me. How could a man be such a wonderful leader in the church, but so abusive in his own home?
So I was not surprised later, in class, when he began speaking against the ordination of women, and how man was made to serve God, but the woman was made to serve man. He made it very clear that he believed women were "lesser" in the eyes of God.
That attitude, which was not unique to this one man, caused me to overcompensate in the other direction. I began LOOKING for evidence that a woman should be ordained, simply because I'd seen the mistreatment of women in regard to this topic.
But to be honest, I didn't find the evidence I was looking for. I still believe that there is a lot of freedom for women in ministry, but that does not include the role of pastor.
What I did find, though, was an overwhelming confirmation from my Lord and Savior that I am not inferior in His eyes. HE determines my value, not man.
And I'm okay with not ever being a preacher. I can't ever be President of the United States, either. (I wasn't born in this country). But I don't think that makes me a "lesser" American, or makes my civic responsibility lower than that of any other citizen. And I'm certainly not going to make a public outcry about being discriminated against, or about my rights being suppressed.
In the same way, I don't think not being able to be a pastor makes me inferior to a man spiritually. On the contrary--God Himself has shown me in my personal time with Him that I have incredible worth, value and purpose in His eyes. He also has a unique, special role for me in ministry that only I can fill. And I LOVE that!!!
All through my Bible, you will occasionally find a little heart drawn by a particular passage. That is a passage of scripture where God has spoken to me on a very deep and intimate level regarding this issue. I know who God says I am. And really, that's all that matters.
I have two friends who are both ordained female ministers. I love them both, and enjoy being with them any opportunity I get. I like their personailities, think they are really fun to be around. They even teach me lots of things about life.
I'm not going to disassociate with them, or lecture them on their proper role in the body of Christ. Why should I? Just because we have doctrinal differences doesn't mean we can't be good friends. Their beliefs don't affect our ability to fellowship with and enjoy one another's company. And they are not going to "contaminate" me in any way, either.
I think that much of the pain and hurt surrounding this issue could be alleviated if the body of Christ took Mark 12:28-31 seriously. Submit to God and His Word daily, and honor one another. So many problems would just not exist if we could put self aside and value the other person for who Christ says they are.
2 comments:
Kiki,
One of the things that most frustrates me in the discussion of women in ministry is the way we have a tendency to overlap terms and thus muddy the issue b/c no one is ever quite talking about the same thing.
Being a Minister is too often only associated with being a Pastor and no one else is really a minister. That is a very narrow understanding of who a minister can be and what a minister can do. By that definition you should never be called a college minister, we shouldn't have youth ministers or children's ministers. When some people talk about not wanting women to be pastors, they often talk about it in terms of "women in ministry" and that is wrong and a confusing element. Women can and should be in ministry, encouraged to do so and even be paid for it by churches. All that can be done without women pastors.
Second, we have a tendency to equate Preaching with Pastoring which is why so many argue that women shouldn't be allowed to preach. The way I have heard it put is that "All pastors are preachers, but not all preachers are pastors"
I've read that Billy Graham considers himself to be an Evangelist/Preacher but scoffs at the idea of anyone considering him a pastor. Being a pastor is not what he is called to be otherwise, I'm sure he could have found a church somewhere to hire him by now.
Women have so much to contribute to the life of the church, so many ways to minister, build up and even protect the pastor. But the way we talk and argue about it leaves so many discouraged and thinking they have no role of ministry or leadership at all.
As in previous posts of yours, how we talk about an issue is often what is leading to confusion and pain rather than resolution and the Glory of Christ. I could go on and on and on, as you know, but I have my own blog for that! I'm glad to hear about the journey of faith you have taken and how He has grown you using this issue.
Pursuing Answers to Questions of Faith & Life,
Kelly
Kiki,
This was a great post! I appreciate the spirit with which you have approached this subject. Now, if all others would merely do the same . . . .
Believe me when I say that the hierarchical interpretation is just as heretical as the egalitarian one. While I too believe the Pastoral office is limited to men, this is not because women are inferior, but because there is complimentarity between genders that God placed there so that we could each fill our respective roles to His glory.
With regard to your college friend, by being a jerk to his wife, he actually demonstrated his own unfittness for pastoral ministry. A pastor must be an efficient manager of his own home, and if he cannot even control his own attitude with his wife, he is unqualified for the pastorate.
On the other hand, it has been my experience that godly women react very positively to the leadership of godly husbands.
Amy and I look forward to spending some time with you guys in a few weeks. Just let me know which weekend, and we will send directions soon.
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