Rather than state my personal opionion on the topic, I would like to share a story that greatly impacted me a few years ago. It is taken from "Winning in the Land of Giants" (Youth Edition), by Dr. William Mitchell--an excellent study which we have gone through both with the kids at the Children's Home, and with our college students.
Long ago, in a primitive culture, it was required that before they married, the young men had to bargain with the girl's father for her. The fathers of the village demanded payment for their daughters generally in the form of cows. Three cows could buy an above-average wife, and four or five cows a very beautiful wife!Johnny, the brightest, strongest, and most handsome man in the village loved Sarita. Sarita most henerously could have been described as being plain. She was not truly ugly, but neither attractive. She was shy. She was also older than most girls at the time of marriage.
The villagers' loved to gossip about the bargaining price of a girl. Some said Johnny might offer two or three cows. Others said Sarita's father might take one cow since nobody else was interested in her.
Johnny went to meet with Sarita's father and offered eight cows for her.
Everyone was astonished. That was the highest price ever paid for a bride in their village! Soon, Johnny herded eight cows to his future father-in-law. The wedding was held the same evening.
Time passed, Sarita changed. Her eyes dazzled, and she moved and spoke with striking grace and poise. People who came to the village and had never seen Sarita before remarked that she was the region's most beautiful woman.
Much later, someone asked Johnny why he paid such a high price for her. Why offer eight cows when he could have had her as his wife for less? Did he make such an offer to make her happy?
"Yes, I wanted her to be happy, but I wanted more than that. The most important thing that changes a woman is how she thinks about herself. Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the village." Johnny concluded, "I loved Sarita and no other woman. And I wanted to marry her. But I also wanted an eight-cow wife."
from Winning in the Land of Giants, p. 43
11 comments:
When I was a kid, in grade school, no less, I saw this story as a short movie in class. I remember it vividly to this day and knew immediately when I saw the title of your post what it was about.
In the movie, the villagers gossip about Johnny's ability to bargin. They said if the father asked for three cows, Johnny would get her for one. If the father asked for one cow, Johnny would get her for horns and a tale. The movie showed the father berating her and calling her worthless. It also showed her face when she overheard Johnny offer eight cows. The father's face was sheer astonishment and the villagers were in shock.
Johnny takes Sarita on a boat trip to other islands to do business and nobody sees her for a few months. When they come back and she steps out of the boat, almost no one recognizes her. It is clear she is the same woman, but she is not the same woman.
I love that story.
Kiki -
Thanks so much. What an encouraging story. :)
Dorcas:
This story is biblical .. in a roundabout sort of way.
I read a book some years ago titles "Each for the Other". It stated two principles that bear indirectly on this.
One is that the husband must love his wife (whether she's lovble or not) and the wife must be submissive to her husband (whether he's worthy or not) .. because Jesus is worthy. And He tells us that's what we should do.
The other is: marriage is likened to the relationship of Jesus and the church. Jesus treasures His church, not because it's a treasure. It's a treasure BECAUSE He treasures it. The Bible says:
Ephesians 5:25-27: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
SO if the analogy is true, we are to give ourselves up for our wives, that we might present her to ourselves as a treasure.
Bottom line: my wife is a treasure to me because I treasure her. That's my duty as a husband, God-ordained and God-commanded.
Man, oh man, does it ever WORK.
WHOOPS!!! MY BAD!!!
I forgot whose blog I was reading.
Sorry, Kiki. Please change the address.
Oh .. wait .. that's right .. I'm OLD. It's allowed.
(slinks off to go to prayer meeting)
As much as I dislike translating, when I first ran across the "Eight-Cow Wife" story several years ago, I knew I had to translate it. It is such a good story and really speaks to the Latin culture. If you ever need it in Spanish here is the link...
http://www.geocities.com/guy_muse/ochovaca.html
Excellent story! Thank you.
This is an excellent story. I had never read it before, but I believe the point it makes is so true. When people feel that they are loved and cherished and valued, it given them confidence and a healthy self-image. When people are treated like they're worthless, they tend to live down to this view of themselves. I believe this is why the Bible tells us to encourage one another.
KIKI,
I love your story and will share it with my Great Grand Children here in Bonham.
You met my 10 Cow Wife when you were here at Jeff Young's Church, Corinth. I had to go all the way to England to find Irene. I think Doug has a 10 Cow Wife also.
Your Brother in Christ
Wayne,
I have to agree with you about your wife. She seems like a gem. : )
We really enjoyed getting to meet you in Bonham. Thanks for making us feel so welcome!
I love that story. I had never heard it before. How true it is! Thanks for sharing it. I will have to share it with my boys in the future.
I've seen people have cows over their wives before, but that takes the cake...
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