I just haven't wanted to post in a while. The past couple of months has been like spiritual boot camp. So many good things have been happening--with the new church, students accepting Christ, and new relationships forming regularly.
But on a personal level, I've just been exhausted. God has been stripping away my pride, idolatry, and weaning me of my need for other's approval. I've been forced to rely on Him alone. That has not been easy for this sanguine people-pleaser.
I've lost the desire to interact with anyone. I have really felt "different", "radical" and alone. Not only does our calling set us apart as freaks, but I have been feeling my "third-culture" ness more than ever before.
It always seems worse this time of year, during the holiday season. The whole consumeristic, excessive materialism within American culture will always be a struggle for me.
I grew up in the midst of dire poverty, and those images are burned on my heart. The contrast of my two cultures is hard to reconcile at times.
One recent source of refreshment for me, though, was the day we spent at the mission downtown, feeding the homeless and serving alongside the young men in the "cognitive renewal" program. These young men--once trapped in the bondage of addiction--are now voluntarily serving others and sharing the love of Christ.
I think God not only commands us, but has put something in us that longs to take care of the poor, the orphaned and the widow. As our hearts begin to beat in tune with His,we are compelled to serve. Left neglected, that void cries out to be filled.
I love our ministry at CMU. But I am constantly surrounded by the gifted, privileged and superior. Even our neighborhood is filled with the spiritually lost, but affluent. I long to be with the socially disadvantaged--to be the hands and feet of Christ in a practical way.
And I miss Africa--the people, sights, sounds, and smells. I long to hear the joyful singing and dancing at church, and smell the wonderful aroma of mealie-meal porridge over an open fire. I miss the children's bright smiles and joyful innocence.
Through these past few weeks, God has given me a promise in the words of Psalm 27. I have repeatedly read that passage--especially the last two verses.
Psa 27:13 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.
Psa 27:14 Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
God is so good, and so faithful. Yesterday He truly refreshed my soul.
My husband gave me my Christmas present a little early. It could not have been more perfect, and encouraged me in such a powerful way.
Guess what he gave me? A sponsorship, through Compassion International, for the most precious little guy in all of Africa. He is five years old, lives in Tanzania, and loves soccer just as much as I do!!!
And guess what his name is??? LIVING!!!! I can now say I have truly seen the "goodness of the Lord in the land of the Living." : )
I can't wait to learn more about Living's life. In some ways, his childhood and mine are probably similar. But in other ways they are tragically different.
Does he like to eat guavas straight off the tree, and kick around a rag ball in the backyard? Has he ever climbed a baobab tree to pick a gourd, and broken it open to eat the sour fruit inside? Does he catch red velvet spiders after it rains? Does he watch the men play Mancala in the shelter by the road, or tease the ant lions until they come up out of their traps and grab onto his stick?
Does he help the older boys herd cattle and carry water from the well? Does he have his own knob-kerrie to fend against snakes and predators? Does he love the booming African thunderstorms, and the sound of the raindrops drumming on the tin roof? Does he ever walk down to the local store, and buy a hot bottle of coke and a piece of candy? Or does his family even have the few shillings to buy him a treat?
Does he ever go to bed hungry, or wonder what happened to his father? Does he have shoes to wear to school, and a sweater for those chilly mornings? Has he ever owned his own box of crayons, or notepad, or pencils? Has he heard that Jesus loves him? Does he know God has has a plan for his life?
One day I hope that I will get a chance to take my own family back to Africa. And maybe, just maybe, I'll get to meet this little guy as well. If I do, I want to be able to tell him in his heart language that he is loved and prayed for every day.
Thank you, Doug, for an amazing Christmas present. And thank you, Abba, for your goodness.
11 comments:
Wow, Kiki. Your heart really, really shows.
I admire you, and I don't often say that. I mean it.
I'm glad you're posting again. Thanks for allowing us to see life from your vantage point.
Kiki,
I, for one, am grateful for your "third-culturedness," and that it makes the "whole consumeristic, excessive materialism within American culture" a struggle for you. God is using the circumstances of your life to make you uniquely and exactly who He wants you to be.
I am glad my kids are growing up as "third culture kids" as well. I'm sure they could identify very well with what you write here.
Blessings,
David
As another "third culture" kid, I can really identify with this post. Thanks for sharing so openly with us in that you express so well many of our same feelings. Like so many others have expressed, we too have missed you, but can understand your writing about feeling "different", "radical" and alone. I think lonliness in part of the life of most of the Lord's servants. Recently we held a missionary prayer meeting at our house and got to talking about this very subject of how lonely we all felt, even though we are surrounded daily by people, phone calls, and a lot of interaction with people.
On another note, Compassion International is big here in Ecuador as well. They do wonderful work sponsoring kids like your Living. What an interesting name! I loved your description of Africa as you remember it from MK days. I too have a lot of fond memories growing up here in Ecuador.
Kiki,
I'm not an MK only an M but still understand on a different level your comments on feeling different. The longer I'm on the field the less I feel what I remember feeling like prior to leaving the U.S.
Thanks for your openness and honesty. It's good to hear from you again. You have been missed.
Kiki,
I, too, am glad that you are posting once again. You have a way of challenging me in the more relational dimensions of Christianity, both with God and with others. As someone who is a loner by nature I can't really empathize with your feelings of aloneness, but I pray that God would continue to be your source and your comfort.
I would agree that Doug gave you the perfect Christmas gift. Not only will you help Living by meeting his physical needs, but you can connect with him on a more personal level because you have experienced life in his world. I pray that God will give you and Living a lifelong friendship and that through this friendship many people may become followers of Jesus.
Kiki!
Good to hear your heart, once again. I am also going through somewhat of a "dry spell", coupled with just plain 'ol being busy. But through it all, as you proclaim, God IS Good, He is always enough, and always full of loving kindness beyond comprehension.
Greetings from Dakar, Senegal (the other side of Africa).
I enjoy reading your blog as I have the opportunity. I ancourage my two girls who are in college now to check out your blog, I appreciate much of what you have to write about life and about your time as a TCK/MK. My girls will progit from your blog.
BTW we had a couple in our home. her parents are colleagues and they were in town for the holidays. This young couple is teaching in a closed country now. They credit your parents as having a profound inflience on their lives while they were at OBU. Something came up about TCK (they both are such) and I commented on your blog and they were all surprised. I believe they know you more from reputation through your parents.
All that to say you are doing a great job with your blog and your parents certainly have done a fine job, and continue to do so!!
Blessings,
Tim
Tim,
I appreciate your comment. I have been struggling with my "Third Culture Kid"-ness recently, and had actually asked God this morning for a word of encouragement. Thank you!!!!
I also appreciate the kind words about my parents. I'm proud of them, and think they are pretty special, too.
Would it be possible for you to send me a personal email at jkikicherry@hotmail.com? There is a couple there in your country who are from Pittsburgh, and two of their daughters contracted a serious strain of malaria. You may already know them.
They have been so much on my heart and mind. I've been praying that God would just surround them with people on your end to meet their needs.
Thank you!
Kiki Sherry: You are an amazing lady! God's grace be upon you and may your prayers for the lost on your list soon be reality. selahV
May the lord God be With you Keep your faith in him he will come through there are going to be strogles along the way but keep the faith and their will be a blessing comming your way if you keeep the cammandments
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