A Child's Cry In the Night

I was awakened about 3 this morning by a sound that startled me awake. It was the muffled cry of one of my children.

I quickly realized that it was Anna, and that she was having a nightmare. After making sure she was alright, I settled back down to go to sleep.

But as I lay there, I reflected on how amazing it is that a mother can sleep through other noises of the night, but at the slightest whimper from her child, can be instantly brought out of a deep sleep. A mother's ear is so attuned to the voice of her child, that even in a semi-conscious state she hears it.

It made me think about Psalm 34:15 "The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry."

If we as earthly parents are so attentive to the needs of our children, how much more does our Father in heaven watch over us? We can rest assured that God not only hears us, but is listening deep into the stillness for the faintest cry from the heart of His child.

Maybe she won't see me.......

Joshua trashed his room this morning. So a few minutes ago I went outside and told him to come straighten it up.

I was perplexed when I walked down the hall and heard absolute silence. Didn't sound like much cleaning was going on.

I walked in and found him--crouched down behind the toy box.

A picture says a thousand words..........

When Perseverance Pays Off

Today I overcame on obstacle in my life that has haunted me for years now. After 2,862 attempts at Spider Solitaire, I finally won a game.

"Why is this relevant?" you ask. "Why should I care?"

Bear with me......I really do have a spiritual application here.

I love 2 Corinthians 4. It is one of those passages that has gotten me through so many times in ministry when I am exhausted and just want to give up.

I had hoped to see more results in our ministry this past year than we did. There are so many students who I truly believed would accept Christ this year but who did not. I claimed and truly believed the promise of Psalm 126:5-6. "Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."

God did not choose to work in the way I had expected this past year. But He is God, and His plans and timing are far better than mine.

Sometimes I want to give up. I am tired of sterile, dry, intellectual Christianity. I want so much to KNOW Him. I want to be clearer in my understanding of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I want Him to be able to use me with the power and authority that He intended for His children to exercise. I want to please His heart, and be a light that draws people to Him.

So even when it may feel like I am never going to "win", and that I am fighting a losing battle, I know in my heart of hearts that I MUST persevere.

And someday, whether here on earth or not until I get to heaven, I am confident that I will see the results and obtain the reward.

Gal 6:9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Girls Day Out

My kids had a half day of school, and Joshua went home with a friend. Doug was on campus. So Anna and I went out for lunch. We took that picture ourselves. Can you tell? : )

As we were eating and talking, I realized how thankful I am to be a Mom. God has blessed me with two very precious kids who are not only warm and loving, but also very fun.

But my heart also goes out today to those who have lost children or not been able to have them. One Mom here in our community just lost her husband and two of their three triplets (age 4) in a tragic car accident. The third child is in Children's Hospital. Pray for the Morrison family. This will not be an easy holiday for them.

I have so many friends who want desperately to be parents, but God, for reasons which I don't understand, has not allowed that to happen. My heart breaks for those couples.

Lord, thank you so much for the blessing of Anna and Joshua. They are such a precious gift. But I also pray for those families who are hit hard by this holiday celebration. Please wrap your arms around them and comfort them.

Psa 34:18 "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Isn't She Beautiful???

Steve McCoy and Joe Kennedy say "Friday is for Photos." So I wanted to post one of my favorites. This is my niece discovering birthday cake. Isn't she a cutie?

Above all, put on love

Friends for over 25 years......Jeff, Chris, Brian and Doug

I have noticed lately that my name and Jeff Young's names are being pitted against each other in the blog-o-sphere because we have some differing views.

I just wanted to make something clear: I love Jeff Richard Young!!! He was in our wedding. Doug was in his wedding. They were all in Jeff, Brian and Tommy's weddings. We get our families together as often as we can.

Jeff and I butt heads sometimes because we are both passionate individuals who stand strongly by what we believe. But that's one of the things I respect MOST about him. I also appreciate the fact that he is quick to forgive and let go of things.

I wish all of you could know Jeff in person. He is an amazing pastor, husband and Dad. He is warm, loving and really, really funny. He can cook, and sing, raise sheep, and speak Arabic. He likes OU football. He is ridiculously smart. He has an amazing wife and kids with the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen.

Jeff and I may not agree on the doctrines of grace, or homeschooling, or anchovies on pizza. But we both love the Lord, each other, and desire His glory above all else!!!

I wanted you to see our families together. There is a very special bond of friendship among this group of guys. (Bear in mind, these pics were taken a few years ago, when they could still run at this pace. Since then, 7 more kids have been added, 5 of which were contributed by the Young clan. : )


Brian, Chris, Doug and Jeff playing the ultimate game--Settlers of Catan.


Hey, Jeff. No biting on the court


Instructing our children in the important things of life


With wives Kiki, Amy and Susan (Chris' wife, Kelly, was taking the picture) and two of the kids.


And more kids.........


Preparing to play the amazing game of plungerball.....

Col 3:12-17 "And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

Rainy Day Photo

I love rainy days, and today is one of them. There's no way to capture how beautiful it is right now. Everything is so green and the colors are so rich. But here's my attempt to take a picture of the rain from our back porch.

God's Calling is not emotionally secure

The end of the war brought peace, but also new challenges. Many whites fled the country. Integration of the schools began, and it was rocky. The first Prime Minister's term of service was short-lived and unsuccessful. And then Robert Mugabe, the notorious Socialist-Marxist leader who still controls the country, came into power.

My one and only fist fight occured during that time. I hit this guy Clive in the nose (and bloodied it) for calling my African friend Heather a derogotory name. (Heather was the first black student to be integrated into our school.)

But in a lot of ways, those early teen years were some of my happiest memories. We had a strong group of youth in the mission, and great community in my local church. Then there was Indira, my best friend, who had moved to Zimbabwe from Tasmania. The two of us were inseparable.

I was finally getting to experience life as a real kid, without the fear of being "hunted."

Our family also spent quality time together. We have always enjoyed being outdoors, and were finally able to have some freedom. Every Friday night was our family game time. We had constant visitors--my parents have always had a "come one, come all" policy. I think my Mom's real calling was to be an army cook, because she was always feeding someone, and we never knew who might be spending the night.

But then came three events that totally rocked my world.

One of our fellow MKs, Chip Corley, was hit by a car and killed while riding his bike. Our whole mission family was devastated.

Then another tragedy struck. Aunt Jeannie Elliff and the four kids were on their way to our house, with plans for all of us to go to a youth retreat together. But they had an accident on the way.

The van rolled, and Beth was trapped under it. She suffered severe burns because the engine was on top of her. The rest of the family only had minor cuts and scratches.

I will never forget seeing Beth laying on that gurney in the hallway of the hospital. She was in such agony, and parched with thirst. I actually remember her saying, "If you love me, you'll give me a drink of water." That broke my heart. She was not allowed to have anything because of the severity of her burns.

I thought my friend might die that night. It terrified me, and made me angry when I saw the doctor ignoring her, even flirting with some of the nurses. He was totally cold and indifferent.

Aunt Jeannie was finally able to get a plane to fly her to a better hospital in the capital. (I don't remember where Uncle Tom was that weekend--maybe out of town.) Thankfully, Beth survived. But she needed better treatment, so the Elliffs ended up leaving Zimbabwe and returning to the States. That was a tough loss for me. Beth and Amy were like my sisters.

To make matters worse, we later learned the accident was deliberate. When Aunt Jeannie had stopped to get gas, some men had inserted a matchstick into the valve of her tire to cause a slow leak. It was the loss of pressure in the tire that caused the van to flip.

But even in that, we saw God's providence. The men had followed Aunt Jeannie from the gas station, probably intending to rob her(or worse.) But when the van rolled, a train happened to be passing and the engineer saw the accident. He stopped the train and helped lift the vehicle off of Beth.

His presence probably deterred those men from hurting the Elliff family. I know that God preserved their lives that day.

Then we began to have issues in school. Because so many teachers had left the country, the educational system was in crisis. So the government came up with a plan to educate "ex-combatants" (aka "terrorists") in a 6-month teaching program and plug them in as teachers.

That brought a whole new set of issues, and was the first time that my brother and I had been on the receiving end of such racism. We both had teachers who hated us--just for being white (we were now minorities in our school.) Mark even had a teacher throw a chair at him.

Then came the final straw. The government decided to create "labor forces" for the youth of the nation. They were patterned after Hitler's nazi youth gangs, even having political rallies on Sundays. If we stayed in the public schools, we would have to serve in the labor force.

So the decision was made to send us to boarding school in South Africa. At the tender age of 14, I had to leave home and go live in a different country from my parents.

That was tough. The security I had always found in both my biological family and my mission family was now gone. Thankfully, my brother was with me in South Africa for a year. He has always been my anchor--especially through high school and college when our parents were so far away.

Those events were hard, but they also made me stronger. And through it all I can say, "For the LORD will not abandon His people, Nor will He forsake His inheritance."--Psalm 94:14.

God's calling is not safe

WARNING: Contains some graphic material.




(top)Rhodesian soldiers charge into battle, with bayonets drawn. Soldiers would often stop by our mission station. I remember one time, when I was about 5, a troop came by our house after a skirmish like this. They had the body of a terrorist thrown in the back of their truck, and blood was still dripping from the bayonet of his AK47.
(middle) Funeral of the Elim missionaries
(bottom) Authorities gather remains after a viscount passenger plane was shot out of the sky near Kariba. Our friends, Jeremy and Karen, died in that crash. They were returning from their honeymoon. To make matters worse, terrorists found the crash site and shot many of the survivors.

Last year I visited with fellow MK Aaron Hood. We were talking about his life in Colombia, and my heart broke as he told how his Dad was murdered in front of their house in Bogota.

Another MK I know watched her mother be brutally gang raped at gunpoint.

And a third MK was herself assaulted and gang raped by a group of men in an Arab nation, while returning from babysitting for another missionary family.

I could tell you story after story like that.

For years I questioned why God would allow horrific things to happen to families who had given their all to follow Him.

It has only been in the past few months that God has given me peace in this area.

The healing really started for me last Fall. About that same time, Dr. Jerry Rankin, president of the International Mission Board, came to our state convention. As he started his message that night, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay in the room. I had heard him preach this sermon twice before.

I went to the back of the sanctuary and slumped down on the floor in the corner. My heart was pounding, and hot tears burned my face as he recounted the stories of missionaries who had lost their lives on the field. The way he told it made their deaths sound so noble and romantic.

But inside I was screaming, "It's NOT that way!!! It's scary, and horrifying, and UNFAIR!!!"

Afterwards I went up to him, and blurted some emotional response through my tears. I'm not even sure what I said, but it was something like, "those were real people to me, not just names in a story. I'm not okay with all of that."

I'll never forget his reaction. It was so kind and compassionate. He did not try to explain the suffering away as being "God's will." He did not make light of my feelings, or treat them as trite and irrelevant.

Instead, he took my hands in his, and with tears in his own eyes, said, "I know, Kiki, I know."

His actions spoke volumes. With that one gesture, he communicated, "I don't fully understand it either. And it hurts me, too. But God is good. God is Sovereign. And one day we will fully understand the purpose of 'lives given, not taken.'"

Not long after that, I asked my parents why we had stayed in such a dangerous place. My Dad responded with empathy but conviction. He said, "I cannot make an apology for the call of God on our lives."

I am finally coming to a place where I can accept what it means to "take up the cross and follow Me." I can't say I fully understand, but I do know that God is good. I know that God is Sovereign. And our time here on earth is just one small part of a bigger story.

I am also learning that the fullness of God's grace and glory seems to shine brightest when set against the backdrop of man's depravity. In the darkest times God's love and mercy are fully illuminated.

I've been asked to share more about my past, but haven't wanted to or really known how to until recently. I was between 8 and 10 during the worst years of the war. So I'll reveal a segment of that time period with you.....


1978 was a stressful year for our family. The war had gotten bad. We had grenade shields on our windows, and most of my friends went to school in armored trucks. Landmines and ambushes were common hazards on the road. We had forced military curfews--no one could go out at night. Travel between cities only occured in armed convoys. Everyone carried firearms--even to church.

Terrorist attacks on mission stations had increased. We had already been forced off of the Sessami station, and were now on a station outside Gwelo.

A few months before, my friend Pieter Brand had lost his Mom and Dad in an ambush. They had been going to one of their preaching points on a Sunday morning, when the terrorists cut them off on the road and shot them in cold blood.

Terrorists struck again on June 15th. We got word from our Sanyati station that missionary Archie Dunaway (one of my favorite "uncles") was missing. He was a sweet man, who absolutely loved MKs and spoiled us rotten. Whenever we would go visit him in Sanyati, he would have a big cookout on the anthill. We also liked playing with his little chihuahua, Joe. The two of them were inseparable.

So when his truck was found that horrible night, with Joe still inside, we all knew something had happened. His body was discovered a few hours later. He had been bayoneted numerous times, and the African people were forced to stand around and laugh as he died.

The next day we all evacuated to the MK home in the city. Whole families were jammed into tiny rooms.

About the same time, we learned from security forces that my Dad's name was on a terrorist hit list.

Eight days later, a mission station on the Eastern border was attacked and entire families were murdered. Here is the newspaper report......

On the night of June 23, 1978, Elim Mission in the Rhodesian Eastern Highlands was subjected to the worst massacre of missionaries yet experienced. Terry Blocksidge reported in the Sunday Mail (Salisbury):

Eight British missionaries and four young children - including a three-week-old baby - were bayoneted to death by terrorists on Rhodesia’s Eastern border on Friday night in the worst massacre of whites since the six-year-old war began.

Three of the missionaries were men and the others women.

A sixth woman was stabbed and beaten and left for dead. She staggered 300 m into the freezing Vumba bush to spend the night before being found semi-conscious by security forces yesterday. Despite intensive care in a Salisbury hospital she subsequently died.

The gruesome murders, by a group of eight to 10 terrorists, happened at Emmanuel Mission School - 15 km south-east of Umtali and 8 km from the Mozambique border - once used as the Eagle boarding school.

The dead, who belonged to the Elim Pentecostal Church, were:

* Mr. Peter McCann (30), his wife, Sandra (also 30), son Phillip (six) and daughter Joy (five).

* The Rev. Phillip Evans (29), his wife, Suzan (35), and their daughter Rebecca (four).

* Mr. Roy Lynn (37), his wife, Joyce (36), and their daughter Pamela Grace. She would have been three weeks old yesterday.

* Catherine Picken (55) and Elizabeth Wendy Hamilton- White (37).

* Miss Mary Fisher (28).

Most of the women had been sexually assaulted, and one mutilated.

The children had been dragged from their beds. Two children were in yellow pyjamas, one with a red dressing gown, and a third in a flowery nightdress.

One child had her tiny thumbs clenched in her palms.

Even hardened security men were stunned by the bloody scene and stood around silently. “The quiet is uncanny”, said one.

Mr. Brian Chapman, director of the Church in Rhodesia and South Africa, visited the scene yesterday. He said: “We saw no humanity here.”

The massacre began shortly before 8.30 p.m. when the white families were forced by the terrorists from their homes and classrooms, and marched to a playing field.

Near the sports pavilion, about 400 m from the main school, they were split into groups, then beaten with lengths of wood and logs, and stabbed.

When security forces reached the scene yesterday, the full horror on the cold, mist-and-rain shrouded Vumba mountainside confronted them:

A mother, beaten to death, lay with her young baby. The baby had also been savagely beaten.

Their arms stretched out to each other, their hands resting an inch apart. The child’s hand was clenched.

The mother had a hand squeezed tightly around her engagement ring, turned into her palm, as she reached for her baby in her dying moments.

Nearby, another woman had died from an axe-wound - the weapon still protruded from her shoulder and two men, one with his hands tied behind his back, lay beaten and slashed to death.

A blood-soaked chunk of wood had been dropped near to them.

Three children lay in a pitiful huddle, with two women’s bodies next to them.

Some had raised their arms to defend themselves from the brutal blows.

Witnesses say that the missionaries were praying for their perpetrators as they died. Since then, several of those terrorists have come to faith in Christ. And the work that these brave missionaries started is being carried on today by Zimbabwean nationals.

Richard Smith, son of retired Elim missionaries, reports that "the leader of the rebels became a born-again Christian a number of years after the fact and was able to meet with Peter Griffiths (who was back in the UK at the time of the massacre)".

There were also two children who were away from the mission at the time of the massacre--Timothy and Rachel Evans. They lost their parents and little sister. I don't really know where they are now, but wonder what their perspective would be.

Matt. 16:24-25 "Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."

Murder of Missionaries in Rhodesia

Anatomy of Terror

Paintball and Campfire

This weekend was our end-of-year paintball outing and bonfire. We had at least 43 people there.

Anna got to play her first paintball game--that's her at the top. It was a really great time of fun and fellowship.

But as we were sitting around the campfire, it struck me how much our group has changed since our bonfire last year. Not only have we grown in numbers, but there was such a clear testimony of how God has worked this past year.

There were six new Christians in the group. And there were at least 8 who are not believers at all (and I don't know about the visitors who were present.)

During the testimony time, it was cool to hear what God was working, and a theme began to emerge. Some of the new Christians told how they had thought we were a bunch of "Jesus freaks", but were also attracted to the love and joy exhibited by the group. And two of the non-believers even shared stories, prefacing their testimony with "I am not a Christian, but....."

One thing that struck me was how our group is not ashamed to speak the truth boldly. There was no attempt to re-package the gospel or market it in a way that would be more palatable to the world.

The way of the cross is tough. And it is exclusive. Jesus said in John 14:6, "I am the way, and the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father but through me."

But it is also a place of joy, freedom and refreshment. Matthew 11:28-30 says "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

I believe the world wants to hear the truth. They are hungry for freedom and rest.

Two of our new believers said that the knowledge that we prayed for them by name to come to Christ impacted their lives tremendously. Our group does not hide the fact that we want our friends to find the joy and truth of Christ. We tell them that we are desperately praying for the eyes of their spiritual hearts to be opened. We speak the truth in love.

One other thing that was encouraging was having three of the leaders of other Christian groups at the bonfire as well. We have started being intentional about supporting, praying for, and encouraging one another in our ministries.

This coming year we will be doing more activities together. There is such a sweet spirit of unity among all of the Christian groups. We have a shared vision and desire: we are so hungry to see Christ glorified on our campus.

Ashleigh, one of the leaders of Intervarsity, shared how in their own group they have sensed that God is preparing them for something big next year. There is a spiritual sensitivity on campus that has not been there before. There is a hunger and passion among the Christian students, and a new sense of urgency.

Several in our own group, as well as the two leaders who were there from Christian Student Fellowship, affirmed what Ashleigh was saying. We have felt it, too.

But then something interesting happened. Another student spoke up and said that he sensed the spiritual activity on campus recently, too, and that he had noticed the unity and shared vision. He wanted his group to be part of that--and he is Muslim!!!

God is AMAZING. I am thankful. I don't know where we are heading, and still don't really know how to do campus ministry any more than I did two years ago when we got here. But our God who has called us is faithful, and HE will do it. (1 Thess. 5:24)

Blogging World: False Reality?

Someone asked me last week why I blog. I have been pondering the answer to that question for days.

The conclusion I have come to leaves me unsettled. I think I blog because....... I desperately need connection with others, and am lacking meaningful community in my real world.

My husband pointed out today that this is a pretty unrealistic world. For example, the people who know me online really only see one dimension of who I am. It tends to be my zealous, serious, slightly insane side. And since tone and body language can not be read through text, there is a danger that what I am saying will be perceived incorrectly.

However, that doesn't stop me from blogging. Because my need to interact with others is greater than my fear of being misunderstood. I do get my feelings hurt, though, and sometimes feel alienated or blown off by other bloggers. I think we all tend to say things a little more harshly and come across a little more arrogantly in our posts than we would face-to-face.

It certainly doesn't take the place of having those safe, warm, "live and in color" friends who can give you a hug on a really tough day, or pick up on your facial expression when life is about to overwhelm you.

Have you ever thought about how strange it is that we share our deep thoughts and feelings with total strangers through cyberspace? Why have we lost the connection and community that used to exist in our society? Why are we so lonely and isolated in cities bursting with people?

Technology has definitely changed our world. What are your thoughts? Why do you blog?

Come and Listen to What He has done

Psalm 66:16

"Come and hear, all who fear God, And I will tell of what He has done for my soul."

Last night was our last FUEL for the year, and our commissioning service for the 7 Seniors and 2 Grad students who will be leaving us. It was also a goodbye for Anna, who has served as our intern this semester.

After their testimonies, we had a time where students could come up, lay hands on individuals, and pray for them.

It went on until after 11:30. There was not a dry eye in the place.

As I looked around the room, I realized how very, very much we have to be thankful for. Six years ago, CrossSeekers was simply 2 semester missionaries and 2 students. Last night we had to bring extra chairs in because we ran out of space.

Three of the graduating Seniors have found Christ since coming to college. All of them have grown immensely in their walks. One of the newer believers has already started a Bible Study on John with friends back home.

Two years ago, when Doug and I first set foot on this campus, we had no clue how to do campus ministry. We just began to pray that God would send us 8 core leaders.

He answered our prayer!!!! Those leaders literally walked through the door one by one, and what has resulted has been truly
unique and special. There is a very sweet depth and joy in this group, and a fellowship that could only be from God.

As I looked around the room last night, I realized how diverse our group has become in just two years. We even have non-believers coming on a regular basis.

These guys are sold out!!!! When we sang "Be Thou Our Vision", their voices filled the room!!!! There is passion and hunger in their lives. So many of them are heading out to various mission fields this Summer, in official or unofficial capacities.

All I can say is "Praise Be to God!!!" HE has done this. And we are thankful.

Honest letter from my heart

I realize that my last post on public school has stirred up some feelings. That was not my intent. If this is too touchy of a topic, then I will not continue to write on it.

It was actually meant to be a response to the concept that ALL Christians should homeschool or place their kids in private Christian school. We just simply do not believe that, and have not chosen either of those options for our own family.

But in no way would I say that we have arrived as parents. Anyone who knows my kids can testify to that. : ) They are great--but we still have so much to learn and a long way to go. And I have a feeling that we will continue to learn and grow and need to adapt some aspects of our thinking for the remainder of our lives.

But let me share from my heart. The deepest desires I have for my kids is for them to pursue God with all their hearts, to worship in spirit and truth and in every aspect of their lives, and to lead others to a relationship with Christ.

The first two things--knowing God more and worshipping Him wholeheartedly, are things we will be still doing and learning for the rest of eternity. While those are absolutely the first priorities, I realize that they will be able to do both of those things even more perfectly in heaven.

But our third desire for them--that they would lead others to Christ--has a time limit. It is an activity that will only occur here on earth.

We realize that. We know that our time here on earth is short and that we have to maximize that time. I already have regrets personally for opportunities missed and time wasted. I want my kids to be able to look back from their death bed and know that they used their time here on earth wisely. I want so much for them to see people in heaven who they had a part in pointing to Christ.

We feel like Pennsylvania is the land that God has called us to, and that he has placed us here to be a light. We want to be obedient to that call as a family. And part of that calling is to become part of the community here and to plant our lives here.

For us personally, that involves placing our kids in public school and trusting God to protect them as we step out and follow him in obedience. But in no way does that negate their spiritual education at home, or our responsibility as parents to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Why our kids are in public school--Part 1

We are often asked why we have chosen to place our kids in public school. Before I answer that, though, I want to dispel some of the misconceptions about public school.

1. Myth #1 Public schools are inferior in academic quality. Our school uses innovation, technology and creativity to make learning both practical and fun. National testing scores are outstanding. The environment is calm, positive and upbeat. There is a strong emphasis on math, science and the arts. (This picture was taken last week on Colonial Day. Each child played the role of a particular historical character for the event, wrote and memorized a speech, and had to present it to a large audience. Then we had a huge colonial feast and dance. It was a fun day of family and community, and made history come alive for our kids).

2. Myth #2 A parent is always the best teacher. Parents are not necessarily the best teachers, and can do more harm than good if they do not have a solid academic foundation. I personally do not feel qualified to teach my children, partly because I was not raised in an American school system. And there IS such a thing as "too much togetherness." My kids need a break from me ocassionally, and I want them to be exposed to other views and perspectives besides my own.

3. Myth #3 All public schools have an agenda to "indoctrinate" our kids with a secular worldview. In fact, we have found quite the opposite to be true. Most of their learning is simply academic and rather neutral in worldview. But there is also a fairly strong Christian presence in our schools.

The majority of our school board, several teachers, and even our PTO president are evangelical Christians. That is remarkeable, considering how liberal this region of the country is!!!

One day in class, Joshua mentioned that his grandparents were missionaries. Some of the kids asked what that was, so the teacher asked him if he would explain it to the class. He told them that Nanny and Papa's job was to "tell people about Jesus, because everyone needs to know about Him."

We have a Moms in Touch prayer group that meets each week, and Young Life and Wyld Life in the Middle and High schools. In fact, tomorrow our Moms in Touch group takes muffins to say "thank you" to all of our teachers and to gather prayer requests from each of the schools. We have regular, direct contact with all the schools in our district.

Here's my answer: We chose to put our kids in public school out of obedience to God. We stand by our decision, because we believe He led us to do so.

I am writing this because I have had some well-meaning friends challenge our decision to place our kids in public school. While I respect others who have chosen to homeschool their own children, or place them in a Christian school, Doug and I believe that God has called us to a different path. But I want to make it clear that I don't believe that our choice is God's will for everyone. This is a decision that each family should come to on their own, after much prayer and seeking God's will through His word.

Here are some scriptures that influenced our decision:

1. Phi 2:15 "...that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,"
2. Joh 17:14-18 "I have given them Thy word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I do not ask Thee to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; Thy word is truth. As Thou didst send Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world."
3. Mar 16:15 And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."
4. Mat 28:18-20 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

How can our kids be a light in a dark world if they are never given the opportunity? How can they "love their neighbor as themselves" if they don't even know their neighbors? Why would God leave us on the earth just to segregate ourselves? Why would He command us to take the truth of his word to a lost world if he did not really mean for us to do it?

This morning at breakfast I told my kids about this whole discussion. Anna's comment was enlightening.

She said, "Mommy, I think they are forgetting that we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us. We know what is right, because we have that prompting in our hearts." My kids may be young, but they still have the full power of God within them.

Anna then added, "But that's also why it is so important to put our armor on every day. I can tell the days I don't have my quiet time before I go to school. It IS harder. But isn't that true for everyone, whether they are in public school or not?"

Whether kids are in public school, private school or homeschool--they are still going to be faced with temptation, and the enemy is still going to find ways to challenge their faith. We are in a spiritual battle. ALL Christians have to learn to own their beliefs, and ALL Christians are called to evangelize--regardless of age. I would rather be in the battle with my kids, and fight the enemy alongside them than give them head knowledge about the enemy, and hope they remember it all some day when they get ambushed.

Oh, Lord, I pray that the eyes of my children's hearts may be opened, so that they will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power towards us who believe. And Lord, show them they are who you say they are. Don't let them be intimidated by those who would look down on their youthfulness. But rather, in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, may they show themselves an example of those who believe.

Are we holding back God?

I have been taking a break from seriousness for a while. It has been good. I have had some amazing fellowship time with God, and a lot of fun with my kids. I just needed some light-hearted refreshment.

But I have also been challenged by what is happening in another friend's life. Jaeson Ma, who ministers on the campus of UCLA, has been experiencing the power of God in amazing ways these past two weeks. I look forward to reading his posts each day!!!!! We have been rejoicing with him at what God is doing on his campus. (Read about it at www.jaesonma.blogspot.com)

At the same time, my heart aches for our own campus. Why do we not see this kind of power on our own campus?

Yesterday, I spoke to one of our students who is so close to accepting Christ, but who just will not take that final step. When I left him, I was fighting back the tears and my heart was breaking.

We have two weeks of school left. On May 21st, there are students who will graduate without knowing God personally. I feel so desperate!!!!!

Do we not have enough faith? Are we not praying enough? Sometimes I just want to lay facedown in the square at the center of campus and plead with God for the souls of our students.

Jaeson's words resonate with my heart. Listen to what he says:

"I couldn’t do my regular ministry duties. I could no longer just settle for Church meetings, Bible studies and casual prayer meetings. I wanted something more. There had to be more. I kept reading 1 Corinthians 2 and Acts 4. Paul never preached with human wisdom, human knowledge, he preached with the power of God. Yet, today all we have is human knowledge from our pulpits, but no Holy Spirit power. A Chinese house church leader once visited some major mega-churches in Los Angeles California and when asked, “What do you think? He responded with, ‘It’s amazing what your American Churches can do without the Holy Spirit.” Lord I pray for mercy on Your luke warm Church here in the United States. Last week I read Acts 4 over and over again.

"Now, Lord consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy Servant Jesus. After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. All the believers were in one heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all." Acts 4:29-33

The apostles preached the resurrection of the Lord Jesus with great power. I am desperate to see that great power at work in my generation. If not, I don’t know what to live on for. I did not sign up for a program, an organization or a religious institution. I found Christ at the age of 17 & was radically changed. He transformed me, encountered me, saved me from going to jail and I have never looked back. But here I am again, desperate as the day I met Him. God where is your power in my generation?

I became so desperate last week. I simply prayed a prayer of Jeremiah 6:16.

“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”

I lost it. I dropped everything and went back to the place of prayer. For days on end I just sought God’s presence in the morning and through the night. I found rest for my soul. I found His presence and He had become everything once again. The only way I could describe how it felt and how I feel at this moment is this, “completely satisfied and utterly dissatisfied.”

I am completely satisfied in His presence, but I am utterly dissatisfied with the state of Christianity in my generation. Oh God, oh God, oh God…if you don’t do something, I don’t know what else to do? Where are the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in this generation? 40,000 students at UCLA and the majority do not know this glorious presence I know. Millions in my generation are leaving the Church because they have encountered a dead religion instead of encountering the manifest presence of God. I am distraught and God you must do something. I only live for one thing, to see your name lifted High, to see revival come, to experience heaven on earth, if not, take me home. Revival or death! I don’t mean to sound extreme, but this is how I feel."

Preach it, brother Jaeson.

One of my favorite quotes is from C.H. Spurgeon. He says, "If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies. If they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees. Let no one go there unwarned and unprayed for."

Lord, forgive us for our unbelief. May we know the power at work within us and speak your truth boldly. AMEN.

Engaging the "Why" Generation

Over the past two years, we have been searching for ways to engage the hearts of our children when it comes to church and their faith.

Our concern started somewhere close to Anna's 10th birthday. We saw her begin to pull back and disengage.

For some reason, there was a disconnect. Church became "our" thing that she participated in out of obedience. We knew that she had a genuine relationship with God, but something was not working in our traditional church model.

When we asked her about it, we discovered that she struggled to see the relevance in what she was being taught. She questioned "How do all these Bible stories apply to my life? How do they even fit together???"

We quickly realized, in doing research about the millenial generation, that this is a cultural thing. Our kids are growing up in a vastly different world than we did. They are more global, technological, experiential and philosophical. "Church as we had always known it" was not effectively reaching our children.

I went back to one of my trusted resources--a book by our friend Dr. Tim Elmore. It is called "Nurturing the Leader Within Your Child" (available at www.growingleaders.com) and is one of the best resources for parenting that I have found.

Tim gives some great tools for engaging your kids: painting word pictures, mentoring, using questions effectively, and creating "laboratories" where they can try out their wings in a safe environment. Those are just a few--you'll have to read the book to discover the rest. : )

But how do we engage this generation when it comes to their faith? We have struggled to find a church that is doing this well. It amazed us how many churches are still employing the exact same methodologies used 25 years ago.

We have finally, though, found a place that seems to "connect" with our kids. Northway understands the heart language of this generation.

Here's how their kid's ministry works. Second and Third graders are together, and Fourth and Fifth. They have large group worship within their grade units, and their corporate worship looks just like what we do in "big church".

Then they break up into small groups (of the same gender), and each group is facilitated by an adult leader. They read through the scripture, and then are asked open-ended questions ("what do you like about this passage?", "what do you not like", "how does this story apply to us?" etc.) They are given tools to begin studying the Bible for themselves, and encouraged to go seek out the answers to questions that came up in small group. It is a very investigative approach to the Scriptures, and the leaders are "coaches" or "facilitators".

This is the exact same method we use with our missional small groups in college ministry. But guess what? It also seems to be working with our preteen kids!!!! The "iron-sharpening-iron", community approach clicks with this generation. I finally see my children owning their faith, and embracing truths of the Word for themselves. And I've actually caught each of them in their rooms with their Bibles, searching for answers!!!!

Another cool thing that Northway does involves the arts. On Wednesdays different classes are offered: everything from cake decorating to pottery or even woodworking. They also offer some athletic activities. Kids can come and use creative expression to learn more about themselves, and Christian principles and concepts are applied in a one-on-one, natural way as kids work with mentors. It is a very effective program.

What are some ways that you have found to reach and engage the millenial generation? How are you making Christianity relevant to them? I would love to hear some more suggestions on how to "do church" for the "why" generation.

Being a Christian kid in a secular world

Joshua came home from school this week and told me, "Isaac said that he doesn't believe the Bible is true. He thinks it's silly that I do. He says it is just a made-up book."

So I asked, "How do you know if the Bible is true or not? What if it is made up?"

Both Joshua and Anna gave me this blank, deer-in-the-headlights look. Then slowly, we began to talk about it. Here is the dialogue that ensued.

Joshua: "Because God also talks to people in their lives, even though He's not on earth. So it's pretty much a miracle. And I believe He can do even bigger miracles than that."

Kiki: "Help me understand. Are you saying that God speaks through the words of the Bible into the lives of people, so that's how you know it is true?"

Joshua: "Yeah!!! That's what I'm talking about. I just KNOW it's real. It's kinda hard to explain, because it is something I just believe in my heart.

Anna: "Yeah.....it's something that you just realize is true--a "bottom-of-the-heart" experience."

Kiki: "But what about things like evolution? Do people ever tell you that the Bible is wrong about creation because science disproves it?"

Anna: "Well, Joshua DID evolve from a monkey. But not the rest of us." :)

Joshua: "The whole theory is kind of illogical, if you think about it. Yet they think it's illogical that God took the time to plan and create the world!!!! But that's only because they don't know God like we do."

Kiki: "That must be tough sometimes, when all your friends believe things that are different from your Christian worldview. How do you live in a secular world and maintain your Christian values?"

Joshua: "Pray a lot. Make sure your life looks like a Christian, so they have a reason to ask you why you're different."

Anna: "You can't just use arguments from the Bible, though. Especially when it comes to evolution. Because to some of them the Bible means nothing."

Kiki: "So what do you do?"

Anna: "You show them how it is wrong using another explanation. All science is not bad. You can still use science to support creation."

Joshua: "And it's important to treat everyone nicely. Even if they don't believe in God and Creation and stuff. We're supposed to treat everyone the same and with respect."

Kiki: "Is it hard to be a Christian kid in a public school where most of your friends are not believers?"

Anna: "Sort of, because there is so much around you to tempt you and make you not want to act like a Christian sometimes. Like gossip, or wanting to get mad at people when they are rude."

Joshua: "Yeah, sometimes it's hard not to be mean to people when they annoy you or do something bad to you."

Kiki: "Are there some positive things about being in that environment?"

Anna: "Yes!!! I have the opportunity to tell my friends about Jesus. If I wasn't there, then who would tell them? Plus, it makes me think about what I really believe."

Joshua: "I think God put me in public school to tell people about Jesus. It's made me stronger, too, because it takes courage to teach people about stuff."

Anticipation of the Season

I love April in Pittsburgh. The sun finally breaks through the clouds. Buds appear on the trees. Tulips, hyacinths and lilies burst through the frozen earth and bloom into an array of brilliant colors.

But I also love the religious climate in our city right now. It is a time of remembrance. Visual representations of the story of God are all around us.

Next week is Passover. Families are abuzz with preparations for the Seder meal. The youngest child in each family is anticipating his important role in the event. Matza is being prepared. Fine wine is being selected. Traditional cakes and wonderful desserts are baking. Excitement is in the air.

The story of God's faithfulness to his people is on everyone's lips. Books like "Miriam's Cup" are on display in the library, telling how God brought his people out of the bondage of Egypt and into the Promised Land. Parents tell their children how the death angel passed over each house that was covered with the blood of the passover lamb.

It is such a beautiful picture of our God of the Old Testament.

But for those of us who are Christians, the story does not end there.
1Corinthians 5:7 tells us that "Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed." The anticipated Messiah has come, and His name is Jesus!!!!

We see the beautiful story of Jesus, our passover lamb, reflected throughout the traditions of Easter.

It all begins with Ash Wednesday. The day is always somber and reverent. Students, businessmen, mothers, and children wear the ashen crosses on their forehead as a reminder of how lost and dark we once were in our sin. It it good to remember where we came from, so we can fully appreciate what He has done for us. Many start the day with a sunrise service, repenting of sin and reflecting on His grace and mercy. Even unbelievers walk in a quiet reverence that day, sensing that this time is somehow special and holy.

Then the Lenten season begins. Evidences of the celebration are everywhere. Stores are filled with crosses, eggs, and the purple and white fabrics of the season. Children are told how God came down and became man in order to die and take the place for our sins. Churches celebrate the stations of the cross. Strangers greet each other with "Christ is risen!" and "Christ is risen indeed!"

Restaurants even pay homage to the season. Signs in all the eating establishments, even fast food restaurants, advertise "Fish Fridays" in honor of lent. People fast and remember what He has done, as each one confesses what he chose to give up for lent.

Everywhere you look, you see evidences of His Story. There are constant reminders of our risen Lord throughout the city.

I can't wait for Easter. Church bells will ring simultaneously in every village, township and city. People will dress in their finest. Places of worship will be packed, as our risen Lord will be celebrated. Families will partake of the bread and wine, and remember the beauty of the cross. Traditional meals and celebrations will follow throughout the day. And joy will fill the air!!!!

But today, there is a special reminder for us personally of the hope of the season. An anticipation of death springing forth into life.

As we get to celebrate this Lord's Day together, we will have two special guests with us at church. One became a believer a year ago, and we have had the joy of watching her grow in her faith over the past few months. The other is her best friend, who has not yet accepted Christ.

We love that kid, and have been praying for him over a year now. But he has not made that decision to follow Christ.

However, we have the hope of future grace! We believe that sometime soon we will get to see him pass from death to life. We wait in eager anticipation for that moment when his eyes will be opened and he will choose to accept Christ.

There is an excitement in the air. A new season, new life and new hope. And a new prayer for our dear friend who is still walking in the darkness.


1Peter 1:3 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead."

Guest Blogger: Brandee Littlefield

This is my friend Brandee, with her cat, Ophelia. Brandee is one of those kids who we first came to know as a student in Oklahoma City, but who has grown up to be one of our closest friends.

I asked Brandee to write something for my blog, because she has a wonderfully unique and beautiful approach to her faith. She is also an incredible artist, and a deep philosopher. She challenges me by her example. Miss you, girl!

Here are her words of wisdom:

Beach Reach, 2006
One night as we dropped students off at a hotel on the far end of the island, Trevor presented the gospel flawlessly. I could hear the whispers of Phillip's prayers in the Driver's seat as I also prayed in a whisper. Listening to the young man's response broke my heart. Not verbatim, but he said, "I understand what you are saying. I know what you've told me it would take for me to go to Heaven. But I am going to continue to do things my way."

At that I could speak no longer and the spirit had to intercede for the groanings of my heart. I could feel my tears because I knew he would be accountable for the truth that he now knew. I wonder if the average American Christian knows what it is like to be broken over the lostness of the people around them.


I think that God speaks to us in ways that impact us most. He is the perfect father who knows how to relate to His children. I often find that I have extreme clarity when I am walking in a park talking to God or painting or journaling.

This is the journaling that I wrote after having a dream on a Sunday afternoon a couple of months back. It is written in prose and I had to reread it after I had written it because I hadn't fully awaken from my dream.

The Potency of Hell

I woke from a dream

Its contents

Already past my recollection

And yet I felt greatly impressed

As to the insurmountable evidence

Toward the horrors and affliction of Hell

The cavalcade of emotion and guilt

At my apathy overwhelmed me

If I truly believe that

Why do I stand still?

Those that I know that

Have perished in a life

That had not been redeemed

And those who are still yet to

Fall asleep apart from God

Are and shall forever be exiled

From the One

That I hold most dear

In my understanding

Which by my own confession

Is limited, I have allowed myself

To believe that because in eternity

I will forget those who chose not To follow God, that somehow

Their suffering would subside

But that is a lie!

Even after judgment

Though endowed with more mercy

Than any man ever deserved

Their pain will never end

Regret that haunts

Opportunities that will ever

Be in the forefront of their consciousness

Never able to sleep

Or able to retreat

There will be no second chances

And no hope of a better tomorrow

As these prose

Spill forth from my spirit

I pray a very hard thing

Let my heart not be indifferent

To my fellow man

Though he himself

Be unaware

And while Hell is not my future

Let me never forget

That it claims all who I neglect

Father may I be besieged by pain

Over their sin now

So in the future they will not be

It made me cry. And it changed me. I hope that I always have brokenness for lost people around me, my hope is that by sharing it, it might change others as well.It reminds me of one of my favorite verses:

Acts 20:24 "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."

Divine Intervention

Do you ever have those mornings where you wake up with a strange, uneasy feeling about the day? That happened to me yesterday.

The whole day started off on the wrong foot. First, it was freezing in the middle of Spring. The stores were out of hot chocolate, and nothing seemed to be going smoothly.

Then right as I got onto the Highland Park Bridge, a truck in front of me, carrying an oversized load, failed to negotiate the turn and got wedged between the retaining walls. It blocked off the entire Southbound part of Rt. 8, and I was left sitting in the middle of a bridge over the Allegheny for almost an hour.

So by the time I got to campus, I was really late and very frustrated. I dropped off the supplies for our hot chocolate table, accidentally backing into another vehicle on my way out, and had to go all the way to the top of Forbes before I found a parking place.

It was 11:35 by the time I started walking back down Forbes towards campus. My mind was preoccupied, and I was not as attentive as usual to my surroundings.

All of a sudden, this guy with long stringy hair stepped on the sidewalk in front of me, blocking my way. He and another guy were carrying a huge dresser.

"We're having a garage sale," he stated. Which I found really odd on a Wednesday in 31 degree weather.

I had to stop, because they were blocking the entire walkway, and my only other option was to go out into the busy street.

"Hey, get on that exercise machine," the guy suggested, pointing to an E-Z rider that was sitting on the curb next to their cargo van.

"No, thanks." I said uneasily.

"I said, 'try out our exercise machine!'" he demanded more aggressively.

I was starting to feel uncomfortable. Just then I noticed two additional guys, who also looked a little sketchy. They had stopped carrying furniture and were leering in my direction as well. All four of them were watching me.

The blonde-headed dude hopped on the machine, demonstrating how it worked. "See? It's simple. Now you try it." They were all laughing at this point, and I was really getting uneasy.

I saw a clearing in the traffic, and darted into the street and around the group of guys, not looking back as I ran the last block to campus.

I tried to brush off my discomfort, rationalizing that they must have been at that house legitimately. But the more I thought about the situation, the odder it seemed. And then when I told Jarrod and Anna what happened, their faces reflected alarm and concern.

"That's just creepy," Anna said.

When I got home that afternoon, I had an email from my friend Dorcas, who lives in Texas. It said,

"I had this awful feeling this morning that something sad was happening today. I am not one for premonitions and such. Nevertheless, I stopped and prayed for everyone. Including you!My thoughts are with you. If you are having a bad day, may this e-mail cheer you. And if your day is going fine, I am so glad."

I wrote Dorcas back and asked what time she had that awful feeling. She told me 10:30 Central time, which would have been about five minutes before I headed down Forbes and into that situation!!!!!!

I don't think that was a coincidence. I am so thankful for friends who listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and who are faithful to pray.

I am also thankful for a Heavenly Father who watches over us. Praise be to God!!!!